The Eragon Parody I made In 8th Grade
by T.F. Author
Summary: Well the title explains all . . . Rated M because it contains language, the ENGLISH LANGUAGE *Maniacle laughter*


ERAGON  
Chapter 1 Don't Throw rocks

(Eragon Originally written by Christopher Paolini*legal stuff it belongs to him blah blah blah* NOT MINE! My spoof howeva!)  
Arya: *running * Oh no Durza is following me I have to get rid of this rock!  
Durza: GIVE IT TO ME BETCH!!!!  
Arya: FOCK UUUUUUUU!!!!!! *Throws Rock * (what did I just tell you?)  
The Spine  
Eragon: *humming merrily * OMFG LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT ROCK!  
Rock: Haha loser *hits deer *  
Deer: *dies * oh shiznit!  
Eragon: cool a rock that's smoking: I'm going to keep it even though it looks like it's so hot it would burn my hand off!  
Author: Wow what a retard, at least he isn't a pretty boy he is pretty though . . . *goo goo eyes *  
Eragon: Focker (though she is pretty) What I didn't think that!!!!!  
Author: I'm so desperate =(  
The Farm  
Egg: *crack! *  
Eragon: Oh SHIZNIT!  
Maury: THE TEST RESULTS FOR THE PATERNITY TEST ARE IN!  
ERAGON: ANNND???  
Maury: YOU ARE THE FATHER!  
Eragon: Oh Shiznit!  
Studio Audience: Ooooooo!  
Author: Lmao! OOO I LOVE MAURY AND JERRY SPRINGER . JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY!  
Audience: ??? Freak??  
The Bar  
Brom: *drunken daze * And The Unicorn Focked the lizard and dragons were born, ANY FOCKING QUESTIONS??!!??  
Kindergarteners: Yea what's a donkey show????  
Brom: well the answer to that is . . .  
Eragon: Wait tell me about dragons!  
Brom: Ok they fly and they're magical, wait why are you asking so many questions about dragons?  
Eragon: No Focking Reason old Faggot! (Lol)  
Brom: Ok *suspicious *  
Outside the bar  
Eragon: Mmmm sure is quiet  
Brom: *being all sneaky * yep  
Eragon: Whoa! Old man quit sneaking up on me like that. . . ., yo *trying 2 be "hip" *  
Brom: *looks at wrist * Hey your a dragon rider!  
Eragon

Chapter 2 The Biiiiiigggg Journey and shiznit

The Farm  
Eragon: HEY GARROW! IM HOME!!!  
Garrow: *dying * ok . . . Good Bye Eragon. . .  
Eragon: OH NO THE PLOT TWIST!!! WHY?!?!?!?!  
Author: Shucks sorry about Garrow  
Eragon: its Koolio I didnt like him anyways but I need something to declare revenge on so . . .  
Saphira: Yo whitey get yo Ass over here! *kidnaps Eragon *  
Eragon: NO!!!!! Garrow  
Saphira: *lands in New Mexico *  
Las Vegas, New Mexico USA  
Eragon: What is your problem *kicks Dragon *  
Saphira: Just FO that Im going to leave yo ass behind see ya white bread!  
Pearish: Hey Eragon!  
Eragon: Woo hoo! TANG!  
Pearish: Whats that?  
Eragon: you heard nuthin  
Author: Sure . . . . . .  
Yali: *look who came to visit lol * Yeah Boi!  
Everyone: lol  
Jake: OOO Its Eragon!  
Nerds from all around the USA: OMG YAY *FAN Girl Scream *  
Fan girls: *even louder fan girl scream *  
Pearish: So what are you doing here Eragon?  
Eragon: My Betch dragon left me here *drooling over Pearish *  
Author: How come she gets all the guys =(although I only want one *drooling over (SOMEONE) *  
Someone: Ok . . . Get the Fudge away from me!!!!!!!  
School The Very Next day  
Principal: Well Eragon since you are an r-tard you will have class with the 7th graders  
Eragon: But Im 15!!!!  
Principal: in that case . . .. Youre still with the 7th graders  
Schedule: Hmmm . . . . . 1st period home room  
Homeroom  
Teacher: *sleeping * Uhh professor Snape! Oh YA!  
Class: *deeply disturbed * Yep hes off his rocker  
Eragon: How the hell did I get here??  
Jake: Nergal Fleeg!  
Author: If I had a choice I wouldnt be here Id be at my computer  
Computer: its true  
Kyle: 6th graders kick A$$!!!!!  
8th graders: we say otherwise  
Yali: WELL I SAY OTHERWISE Pulls OUT MACHINE GUN  
Schedule: Mmmm To be continued . . . .  
TO BE CONTINUED. . . . . .  
Eragon

Chapter3  
GOTH / EMO kids who end up betraying everyone

Leaving Las Vegas on Saphira after escaping Yalis Machine gun  
Saphira: Im sorry lil white boy  
Eragon: its ok I just hope we dont run into that freak author again  
Author: Guess who?  
Everyone: Oh crap . . . .  
Author: wazzup wit my peeps?  
Eragon: oh god, kill me now  
God: Nah dont feel like it  
Author: so anyways back to the story . . . .  
Eragon: dum dee dum dum dee going to the Varden going to meet a hot elf lady and a Goth / Emo kid with a tragic past who will eventually turn out to be my brother who betrays me for the guy Im trying to kill in the first place dum dee dum dum dee *sing song voice *  
Brom: hey was up Im coming with you and Im gonna die so u get to meet your betraying brother  
Audience: With this crappy author who needs to read the books? She just destroys all plot points and gives constant spoilers so when you read the book it sucks  
Author:*takes it as compliment and not sarcasm* thank you!!! *gets beat up * oww . . . . It hurts here  
Somewhere . . . .  
Brom: Good bye Eragon . . . *keels over *  
Eragon: crap another dead geezer  
Murtag: just because Im all Goth / Emo Im gonna help you bury the dead guy wheres my special burying old dead guys shovel  
Eragon: cool thanks . . . . and you are  
Murtag: no prob the Goth / Emo kid who turns out to be your betraying older brother, so wheres this hot elf lady you were talking about earlier?  
Author: Im right here *ugly and fat * Hey boys *licks finger puts on fat a$$ and makes sizzling sounds *  
Everyone: EWWW *vomit *  
Janitor: stupid fat wh*re cant you write one story without me having to clean up your audiences vomit and/or feces/urine  
Author: who are you?  
Janitor: the one who cleans after all your mess you didnt think lil pixie faggot faeries with mops shoved up there asses cleaned up after you, did you?  
Author: umm no of course not *sobs because her beliefs where thrown down the drain * nope =(  
Yali: *with gun * I hope you didnt think you could escape me?  
Author: Nope *sobs some more (why my beliefs and dreams?) *  
Yali: here sis have a gun were gonna blow there asses off to Japan  
Author: COOL! Youre the best big sis ever * both shoot and kill everyone *  
Both: WOO HOO WE KILLED THEM GO US OH YA!

My house with my Bros  
Author: ANNNND thats how Eragon ended and why no sensible adult will let you watch it!  
Twins: You Jackass you really think wed believe that cock and bull story?  
Author: WHY MY BELIEFS?? *runs away sobbing *

blah  
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